Blog Training and How-To Guide for Business Blogging

As I gaze wistfully into my blogger's crystal ball (not for sale), I can see the following 13 events that you will blog about in 2007**:

1. February 14, 2007 - Blogging peaks in popularity as millions of bloggers discuss their well-laid Valentine's Day plans.  You post about your excitement for tonight's Valentine's date and your plans to blog every juicy detail from your cell phone during bathroom breaks.

2. February 15, 2007 - Millions quit blogging after their lovers suddenly leave them, citing "I'm sick of you blogging during our dates!" as the number one cause.

3. April 1, 2007 - Blogtipping Day meets April Fool's Day.  'Nuff said.  You either get tipped or fooled or both, and you can't help but blog about the crazy experience.

4. May 12, 2007 - Google buys Yahoo! = Goohoo.  Your blog post says, "W'hoo!"

5. June 17, 2007 - Goohoo buys Microsoft. = Microgoohoo.  Your blog post says, "Boo hoo!"

6. July 3, 2007 - A world-famous rock star suddenly dies on stage during a huge concert.  You blog your reaction to the news - along with a poem dedicated to your beloved star.

7. July 5, 2007 - Said world-famous rock star suddenly comes back to life while lying in state in home country.  Again, you blog your reaction to the news - along with a rant about how your ex-beloved star faked death for two whole days and will now make a boatload of money off of it, while you work overtime to put out more blog posts but receive somewhat less than an eight-digit salary for your trouble.

8. August 30, 2007 - A massive worldwide power outage caused by solar flares leaves you momentarily blogless.  "Nothing will stop me from blogging today," you insist, and you promptly write out 100 copies of today's blog post and mail them as letters to a hundred of your most faithful blog readers.

9. September 1, 2007 - By strange coincidence, an electromagnetic pulse weapon fired by North Korea somehow backfires, restoring electrical power to the whole world just one day after the Sun turned out the lights.  You eagerly fire off 17 blog posts that you wrote in shorthand last night by candlelight.

10. September 10, 2007 - Your 100 most faithful blog readers jointly announce the creation of a new blogging concept known as "mailblogging," inspired by your recent letter-sending heroics.  A new blog called "Mailbloggers" is created, and the first scanned images of handwritten blog posts (and fan T-shirts and mugs) are posted.  You humbly post about your serendipitous rise to blogging fame.

11. November 4, 2007 - You proudly announce who you voted for today.  (Or, if you're not a U.S. voter, you complain about the number of blog posts you've read wherein someone proudly announces that they've voted for a write-in candidate called "YOU" simply because "YOU" was the 2006 Person of the Year according to Time magazine).

12. December 30, 2007 - You blog about how you're NOT going to blog about anything tomorrow, just to prove Easton's predictions wrong.

13. December 31, 2007 - At five minutes before midnight, a ping hits Technorati from your blog.  The first lines of the post read: "Easton was right.  I ... just ... can't ... stop ... blogging!"

Thanks to Darren Rowse at Problogger for inspiring this post with his latest group writing project on reviews and predictions.

**Don't take these predictions too seriously.